A Review of: Twilight – Life and Death, by Stephanie Myers

First and foremost, I can tell you, that this series was originally released for young adults. And I have always been beyond the intended market, not being in that age bracket. But like many young adult content – I have no problems reading it, or enjoying it…..so, I have watched the Twilight movies, read the original series. Recently read the re-write of Twilight written from Edwards, point of view instead of Bella’s; and so reading this one – Twilight re-write as a gender swap… the plot isn’t a surprise.

But this version? The least enjoyable. While executed fine and attention to detail swapping nearly every character, with exception of the human parents our main character…. It was so flat. And painful, along with painfully boring to read.

Juxtaposing Bella’s weak, self loathing, insecure, uninteresting personality into a boy…. Was awful.

But yes – well written – we totally feel the patheticness of our human “Beau”. It’s just beyond  painful to read. Excruciatingly awful… which of course nails the same personality, but it was so over the top, I kept wishing for a plot twist and out useless boy to die.

I kept asking myself – same as the others: why on earth are we to ‘believe’ a 100 year old being would find a teen with no personality, complete self loathing, and zero confidence… interesting? More so utterly  captivating? Addicting even?!?! This  is beyond the realm of ‘believable’ action.  The older you get, the more you will understand how this works. Teenagers are not captivating. They’re unformed minds. So anyway…. With our new iteration – it’s painfully More So of this. No way. Especially not this sad sack black hole of personality.

Anyway…. No surprises. The plot is identical. Dialog is word for word (metaphorically.) but the result is 1000x more morose.

Worth a read, if you’re curious. But keep your expectations low. And before you start – ask yourself if this is worth losing several hours of time in your life you’ll never get back.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you though.

Obviously, not recommending, this one didn’t work for me.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Thoughts:

• Story pacing? I

t’s a steady story,  something always happening, even if it’s just build up to the next ‘event’ in the plot. 6/10

• Story character arcs?

I don’t know… but Edythe being obsessed with beau the entire thing isn’t an arc, and Beau being teenager obsessed with her before and after he learns she’s a vampire, doesn’t seem like an arc. All they do is obsessively want each other from page one to the end. 0/10

• Story arc?

There is a story arc. Vampire meets human. Vampire wants human. Vampire has compassion and doesn’t want human giving up everything that is ‘life’. Humans desire wins in end, and becomes vampire, and they live happily ever after, together, for ever. No surprises, but the story details are technically an arc. 5/10

• Story writing quality?

Well on the one had, the writing makes Beau a waste of air with his self deprecating manner. But on the other hand who wants to read an entire book of this? 3/10

• Story wokeness? ( tolerable / gag me)

Gender swap in principle.. gag me. 3/10

• Grates against my annoyances?

Extra points off for the main character being names Beau. Personal ‘gag me’ attachments to that word. 0/10

• Grates against my annoyances? (fictional words)

All the names chosen for the characters were awful. Especially the vampires. I get she’s going for ‘period’ names because they’re old.. but ugh, they were bad terrible choices. Additionally, I could be wrong, but I double any Edith 100 years ago was spelt Edythe.

• Story romance level?

The whole book is about a relationship.. but not necessarily romance. Still it’s pretty gag-y. but no surprise there. 4/10

• Story readability?

It’s easy reading… but not easy to read, lol. 5/10

• Story Completeness (did it end on a cliff hanger, or a see my next book!)?

I guess it does end pretty well, tying up generally all character arcs and story arc,  no cliff hangers. 8/10

• Did the story cover familiar ground, or go new places?

Vampires… and re-writes. Nothing new to see here. 3/10

• Was there anything I wanted to know that was left unanswered?

Yep, why did this get published even? I can to some extent understand the author writing it.. as an exercise of what if. But the publisher running with it? Ugh. It just isn’t that worthy. It did not make me all the sudden learn something new, or have a new epiphany about the story, that made it interesting or worth while. 2/10

• Things I really liked / or didn’t like?

I really did not like the voice of beau. So pathetic, whiny. And the continued author use of  whispered, mumbled, choked, sighed, gasped, etc. still as distracting in dialog descriptions as it was in the other books. Maybe more so with Beau’s overall patheticness. And come one, we’ve all seen the movie, I think we Know how it was uttered. 2/10

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